the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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