I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
