Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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