You really coming over, don't trick.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize