dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
