Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
