yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
