I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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