he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
