If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
