We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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