i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
