is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I just googled if crying burns calories
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
