And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
