Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize