somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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