I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize