you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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