AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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