Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
i now understand why vodka
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
