mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
