last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
