I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Randomize
