My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
