he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
