so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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