thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
