I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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