I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
