honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize