sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Randomize
