So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
