She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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