Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
