There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
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