Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
