i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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