WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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