it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
