The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
