I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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