I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Is it because I queefed?
I cut my penus on the lid.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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