Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
