New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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