ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
