BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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