operation harelip BJ is a go
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
