I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
