i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
My dick has a subreddit
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
