so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
