I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
