And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Never underestimate the power of titties
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