Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Just high enough for therapy.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
