I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
