Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
