Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
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