glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
