I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
foreskin is a definite game changer
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
