I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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