turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Randomize