come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
