Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
