he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
