I just made out with a guy for $7.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize