I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
