your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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