I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Randomize