If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
