I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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