Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
