Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize