We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
