remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
