oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize