I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
