He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I think people are normalizing furries
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
