well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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