I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
