So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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